Sunday, April 18, 2010
Going It Alone
A younger friend without many other mom friends asked me today if I am getting other things done. I said that no, I can't seem to get anything done. When I've said that to other people with kids they have replied laughng that they didn't get anything done for a decade. My friend asked if Regis, who works at home, is much help and I shook my head. I have to say that having a baby is very uneven. While breastfeeding I don't know how to change that, and even if I weren't I still do pretty much everything unless I ask specifically. Then I get an hour or two off, but the other 20 -22 hours a day are pretty much me. We aren't the most modern family, but we both work at home, we both wanted the baby, and I had said I didn't want to do all the work. The only even division of work I've seen is in families with twins or families where the mom is simply gone, like in medical residency or work travel. The only way I have found to keep from being constantly frustrated with this situation is to think to myself that I am doing it alone and I give myself a pep talk saying: I can raise this baby, do meaningful work, and keep a household all by myself. Then I'm pleasantly surprised when I do have help. I think I don't even realize how good I have it having Regis at home. If I want to go for a run or have to get to a meeting or simply can't take it anymore I can just go. I can't imagine waiting and waiting for a husband to get home at 6, 7, or 8 to hand off the baby.